"I didn't think it was possible but you make David look like father of the year." ~ Krystal talking to Adam, 2005

"I can have any man I want." ~ Erica
"Yeah only because your life is one endless desperate lap dance." ~ Opal, 2003

"You stay put rat boy, the ships not sinking yet."
~ Tad to Del, 2005

"Gay? What in the name of Rosie O'Donnell is going on here?" ~ Kendall to Josh who asks if she's gay, 2005

"She invaded my inner sanctum." ~ Adam
"Half of this room is mine. You take the inner, I'll take the sanctum." ~ Krystal
"Excuse me while I go be sick." ~ JR, 2005

"I'm better because you were here." ~ Erica to Kendall, 2003

"Who are you...the common sense police?"
~ Kendall to Aidan, 2003

"Tad has been had!" ~ Alfred Van der Poole, 2005

"Sweet, huh Greenlee." ~ Kendall Talking about Zach
"Yeah, like artificial sweetener, sweet but not."
~ Greenlee, 2005

"I respect you as a man but I love you as a boy."
~ Adam talking to JR, 2003

"The Macbeth sisters. Double Double, toil and trouble."
~ Mary talking about Liza, Marian and Opal visiting, 2003

"You might want to make that Krystal Chandler." ~ Krystal
"Krystal what?" ~ Adam
"Chandler, as in Mrs. You." ~ Krystal, 2005

"You were an idiot when I met you, you're an idiot now, you're probably always going to be an idiot."
~ Tad talking to Del

"You know I always thought the devil was made up. But now, now I know he's real because I'm looking right at him." ~ Danielle to Garrett, 2005

"What kind of party is this? Can I get a beer or something?" ~ Zach, 2005

"You're not normal" ~ Greenlee to Zach
"Thank you" ~ Zach
"You're weird." ~ Greenlee
"There's alot of that going around." ~ Zach, 2005

"Since Daddy died I've tried to dwell on his good qualities like his eyes were a nice color if you got past his barfly squint." ~ Greenlee
"At least you always knew the truth about Roger. I didn't know my father was a drug henchmen until...well...until it was too late." ~ David, 2002

"If it will get you to leave. Jamie came over to tell me what an idiot I am for treating you like a human being."
~ Babe to JR as to why Jamie was in her motel room, 2005

"Well I think I'm going to get productive and do some work." ~ Liza
"Yeah, well we were evicted today so you might want to do some packing." ~ Greenlee, 2003

"Oh, it's only you." ~ Simone
"You aren't the cherry on the sundae of my life either." ~ Greenlee, 2003

"And if our son doesn't get an education from someone other than you he will end up being the kid that everyone stuffs in a locker." ~ Babe talking to JR about Little Adam's Education, 2005

"You guys are such girls!" ~ Jamie talking to Babe, Maggie & Bianca, 2004

"Laugh it up Angels...this round is I never lied to my best friend." ~ Jamie talking to Babe, Maggie & Bianca playing a drinking game, 2004

"What brings you here?" ~ Babe standing at the river's edge
"My car." ~ Greenlee doing the same, 2005

"Leo is something wrong?" ~ Greenlee
"Ah well the short list is, my cousin was just gunned down, my best friend was nearly killed falling off of a horse and I just wasted the last 5-6 months married to the wrong person." ~ Leo, 2002

"I'm just a guy who's crazy in love with the girl in the gorilla suit." ~ Leo to Greenlee, 2002

"You promised me a New Years lovefest but instead you drag me out to babysit Santa's forgotten elf." ~ Kendall talking to Ryan about Greenlee, 2003

"Oh goodie, well our topic of conversation could be Ryan, moran or macho chump." ~ Kendall talking to Mia, 2003

"Erica's missing a filter from her brain to her mouth."
~ Greenlee to Greg, 2005

"What's with Skye?" ~ Hayley
"She's in jail the police are trying to say she tried to kill somebody." ~ Winifred
"Finally we have something in common besides booze."
~ Hayley, 2000

"I do not cry." ~ Krystal
"Oh well then it's raining on your face." ~ Adam, 2005

"Zach I swear you'd better be dead. You're supposed to be there when I need you, so call me." ~ Kendall, 2005

"Do you realize that I've got a enough baggage that I can open my own line."
~ Babe talking to Josh, 2005

"Alright you're normal Greenlee. Words I never thought I'd say." ~ Kendall to Greenlee, 2005

"He was a good man fish n' chips." ~ Tad talking to Aidan about Ryan, 2005

"Happy Thanksgiving Chuckles. I'm here. Another obnoxious, uninvited, unwelcomed reason to give thanks."
~ Tad to Adam, 2003

"For a Bubblehead you're absolutely brilliant!"
~ Kendall talking to Greenlee, 2003

"Why isn't he here suffering with the rest of us?"
~ Opal asking about Stuart not being at Thanksgiving, 2003

"Oh...If I didn't need this drink so much I'd pitch it right in his face." ~ Opal talking about Adam at Thanksgiving
"Aw go ahead." ~ Palmer, 2003

"You're pumping my daughter for information?" ~ Krystal
"I'm not pumping I'm bribing." ~ Tad, 2004

"Let us know if you see anything suspicious."
~ Oakhaven Guard
"It's a psychiatric hospital." ~ David, 2004

"Don't you ever get tired playing God?" ~ Jackson
"Why quit now when I'm so good at it." ~ David, 2004

"I had a child with Adam, divorced him, still thought I could live in the same zip code for all Eternity." ~ Liza
"They've got a zip code in Hell." ~ Tad, 2004

"David you may be my Dad but you are out of your tree."
~ Babe, 2004

"This is life James, not a movie." ~ Tad to Jamie, 2004

"I love you Ryan Lavery...you pain!" ~ Greenlee, 2004

"How would you describe our chemistry back then Erica? Nitro meets glycerin." ~ Kendall, 2002

"What's with the interruption?" ~ Reggie
"Well it wouldn't be a Pine Valley Wedding with out it I guess." ~ Jackson at his first wedding to Erica, 2003

"What am I supposed to do with Phoebe's millions?" ~ JR
"Donate it to a group that helps troubled boys. Save them before they grow up to be you." ~ Jamie, 2005

"Will you stay with me?" ~ Greenlee
"I'm here with you. I go where you go." ~ Kendall, 2005

"You know the old British saying, if the Limo's rockin' don't come a knockin'."
~ Anna to Erica about talking to Chris in the Limo
"Yeah, you're hilarious." ~ Erica, 2002

"I remember the first thing Greenlee said to me after the wedding ceremony..." ~ Ryan
"I'm going to be sick." ~ Greenlee (suffering from morning sickness), 2005

"I think we are the real newlyweds at this clambake. Uh, and I'm not much of a public speaker. You're my jackpot!"
~ Zach talking to the press about his marriage to Kendall...then kissing her, 2005

"Those cameras saved you from being slapped silly."
~ An angry Erica at her New Beginnings Launch
"Well, next time don't sensor yourself. Keep it real. Do what you wanna do." ~ Zach
"Next time?!" ~ Erica, 2005

"I'll take care of it. Trust me." ~ Zach
"That's the scariest thing you've said all day." ~ Kendall, 2005

"Who launched the Tiny Torpedo?" ~ Zach to Kendall about Greenlee, 2005

"If you think I'm going to hand over my daughter to that Denzel wanna be you better think again!"
~ Derek talking to Mimi about her new fiancé Garrett, 2005

"I'm not sure this is what the Signers of the Declaration had in mind." ~ Palmer
"Well you outta know, you were there when they signed it." ~ Opal, 2005

"Have no fear the King of Salmonella is here!" ~ Tad, 2005

"Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you the next Mount Rushmore. Larry, Moe and Curly."
~ Tad talking about Palmer, Adam and JR who are mopping at the 4th of July Picnic, 2005

"Now I'm her enemy like bad highlights and carbs."
~ Kendall talking about Greenlee, 2005

"I expected you to provide an intelligent and loving environment for my daughter." ~ Mimi
"Why you were what? Out Dating?" ~ Livia, 2005

"Please don't tell me I'm grounded?" ~ Sam
"As a grave digger's boot." ~ Brooke, 2005

"Ah, the British are coming...come on in." ~ Tad answering the door at Wildwind and finding Aidan, 2005

"Your a hopeless romantic with an emphasis on hopeless"
~ Liza talking to Tad about Dating, 2004

"You've sunk so low you're feeding from the bottom."
~ Krytsal to David, 2004

"Walking Eagle...a bird so full of crap it can't fly."
~ Krystal not buying David's B.S., 2004

"And I'm supposed to believe you...The Ice Princess of Pine Valley. Oh Please!" ~ Tad talking to Liza, 2003

"Something's eating you." ~ Simone
"It's just my tape worm...ignore him." ~ Tad, 2003

"There was a body on his floor."~ Zach telling Kendall about David & Ryan
"As in dead?" ~ Kendall
"No unfortunately it was David Hayward and like all cockroaches he's going to be fine." ~ Zach, 2005

"I think you need to know what it is that Ryan does when he thinks noone is looking." ~ Zach to Kendall, 2005

"Since when are you save the world Slater...is the tin man cruising for a heart?"~ Kendall talking to Zach, 2005

"She has earned the right to be like any other teenage girl even though it might give us nightmares or what I'm sure is the beginning of an ulcer."
~ Jackson discussing Lily and Sam with Reggie, 2005

"I saw my daughter grow up to be a strong woman."
~ Krystal talking to David about Babe, 2004

"How weird is it that all of our Mom's have been married to your Dad? ~ Bianca to JR
"And our parents think we're confused?" ~ Laura, 2000

"How can I show you how much I love you?" ~ Tad
"Well let's see, you have jumped out of a plane, you have donned a chicken suit...But I think my favorite is when you hold my hand at night." ~ Dixie, 2000

"We help each other no matter how crazy the cause!"
~ Simone talking to Kendall
"Way to be supportive Simone." ~ Greenlee, 2005

"You feel lost?" ~ Lysistra Schwartz to Tad
"No, it's a look. My eyebrows grow like this." ~ Tad, 2003

"That's the best medical advice I've gotten from a janitor who makes house calls." ~ Ryan talking to David, 2005

"What's with Pine Valley? It's like the wedding capital of hell."~ Liza talking to Tad after Jack and Erica's first wedding was stopped, 2003

"What was she thinking? What am I saying, Greenlee Smythe never had a thought in her head." ~ Erica, 2001

"Have you been sniffing hair spray?" ~ Simone to Greenlee, 2005

"Does Ryan know you are a carseat short of a mini van?"
~ Simone to Greenlee, 2005

"If I have to have procreation without recreation so be it!"
~ Greenlee, 2005

"I don't think they're kept in the cafeteria freezer next to the push-ups and Mickey Mouse pops."
~ Simone talking to Greenlee about stealing Ryan's sperm from the Madden Clinic, 2005

"I use to be the most selfish bitch to ever get away from."
~ Greenlee explaining herself to Dr. Madden
"Well we all tend to be our own worst critics."
~ Dr. Greg Madden
"I'm not exaggerating" ~ Greenlee, 2005

"Get out...I'm supposed to be resting. Besides your bedside manor sucks." ~ Di talking to David, 2005

"Your on board when I need your help?" ~ Greenlee
"You keep posting my bail I'm your puppet" ~ Simone, 2005

"Ut oh, what did I do wrong snookems?" ~ Zach
"You showed up and you saved me, damn you."
~ Kendall, 2005

"I'm sorry but squid boy and I sat right over there."
~ Simone explaining her date to Ethan, 2005

"He's perfect...what woman wouldn't want his sperm."
~ Greenlee having a melt down talking to David about Ryan, 2005

"How was the wedding?" ~ Ryan
"No one stopped it." ~ Greenlee, 2005

"Look at me." ~ Ethan
"I can't, I get all oogely and my brain goes fuzzy."
~ Simone, 2005

"My family keeps growing." ~ Lily
"Yeah, like a big ugly fungus." ~ Reggie, 2005

"I'm sorry." ~ Kendall
"About what?" ~ Zach
"For yelling at you and asking for a gun and wanting to blow your brains all over the wall" ~ Kendall, 2005

"Jack are you Proposing?" ~ Erica, 2003

"You got a piece of flattery stuck between your teeth."
~ Tad to Krystal, 2004

"Ellie Mae your no match for me." ~ Tad arguing with Krystal, 2004

"He may be idealistic. He may be way to subborn and...Tall. And he may be so good that he makes some of us look really terrible. But he's worth ten of you!" ~ Erica talking to Zach about Jack, 2005

"Feliz Navidad Ya'll" ~ Krystal upon entering the Martin's on Christmas Eve, 2004

"I know the atmosphere is strained but it's not enough to get rid ofBaby Mae and Krystal Yoakam."
~ Mary talking to Adam, 2004

"So is it be nice to blood suckers day again aready?"
~ Babe talking about Adam, 2004

"Well nobody steam rolls a marriage like Erica." ~ Brooke
"Well if my marriages never ended Brooke who would you have to date?" ~ Erica, 2004

"A huge part of this has your perfume all over it." ~ Zach talking to Erica, 2005

"I think they should give you an award actually. Conduct becoming a heroine." ~ Mary Smythe to Brooke, 2003

"Don't fight me!" ~ Adam
"As if I'd stop now!" ~ Brooke, 2005

"Well you and your brothers are a real wrecking crew aren't you? You are destroying my family one woman at a time."
~ Jackson to Ryan, 2005

"I'm a Chandler...we don't do mercy." ~ JR, 2004

"If you are going to use me as a weapon, aren't weapons better whenthey are fully loaded." ~ A drunk Maria talking to Ethan, 2005

"You are completely demented." ~ Erica to Zach, 2005

"Okay did that make any sense...even to you?"
~ Kendall talking to Simone, 2005

"Did you ever hear about the husband I stabbed?" ~ Erica holding a knife
"Yeah, it rings a bell." ~ Zach
"Got away with it." ~ Erica
"How's that, did Adam lend you a judge?" ~ Zach
"Not guilty by reason of insanity. I lost control. Couldn't help myself.I'm about to lose control again." ~ Erica, 2005

"This wedding has to be spectacular, not like any wedding I've ever had!"~ Erica talking to her wedding planner about her nuptials with Jack, 2005

"This is going to be my final wedding. My final final wedding."
~ Erica talking about her nuptials to Jackson, 2005

"It's what your Mama always says...What doesn't kill ya, you chase it down beat it to death and you either sell it, eat it or wear it." ~ Krystal to Babe, 2004

"What do you do when the mercury's right and there isn't one man in sight?" ~ Simone
"I stand naked in front of the freezer with a quart of Moca Almond Fudge." ~ Mia, 2003

"You know usually evil gate keepers are three headed dogs not two faced bitches." ~ Maria talking to Erica who is preventing her from seeing Ryan, 2005

"I know why I attack Maria...It's two parts righteous indignation, one part she makes it so easy!"
~ Erica talking to Zach, 2005

"My child will not be named Adam Chandler the third!"
~ JR's response to Adam's suggestion for his baby's name - November 2003

"My son's name is Adam Chandler III not James, James is dead."
~ JR to Babe after he wins custody of their son - February 2005

"Ryan had an epidoral" ~ Gillian to a confused Scott Chandler
"You know when you see things the way they are or at least as they should be." ~ Gillian
"You mean an epiphany." ~ Scott, 1999

"You lied." ~ Jackson
"With good reason Jack...for the best reason!" ~ Erica, 2003

"And I've got claws." ~ Erica
"Get a load of that plumeage." ~ Adam
"Don't you touch my plumeage" ~ Erica

"You got this idea from a soap opera?" ~ Palmer
"Well what's wrong with that? My life is one and yours?"
~ Opal

"The day JR agrees to more visitation is the day that Erica Kane gets a sex change operation"
~ Babe talking to Adam, 2005

"I'm not the problem." ~ Adam
"You're not the problem Dad? I'm walking around with a hole where my heart used to be and I'm looking at the man who put it there!" ~ JR, 2005

"The Lavery brothers...we used to be real tight. You know that? It used to be bunk beds and trading cards and now it's guns and bullets" ~ Ryan, 2005

"When she saw me dressed as a chicken I knew I had her."
~ Tad talking about Dixie

"My Gosh...The drama!" ~ Simone talking to Kendall, 2005

"One small problem Adam. A, I loath you. B, I despise you and C, if you were the last man on earth I'd check myself into a convent!" ~ Erica

"No marital rights...None, None for the duration of this marriage made in hell! So touch me, breathe on me and I'll kill you!" ~ Erica talking to Adam

"There is no truth until you decide you like it!" ~ Zach talking to Maria about who killed Edmund, 2005

"Someone has to be mature and responsible and it's a really sad sorry day when that someone has to be me."
~ Simone, 2004

"I know what a bottomless pit of need you really are."
~ Greenlee talking to Kendall

"I say a felon in the hand is worth two Braedon's in the bush"
~ Kendall Talking To Ryan

"That's the smartest thing I've heard you say other than Jonathan's an idiot." ~ Kendall talking to Ryan, 2005

"Why is it people without souls are always swearing on them!" ~ Erica to Zach, 2005

"Listen I know how fond you are of your father's sage advice." ~ Tad
"Yeah, right up there with a poke in the eye with a sharp stick" ~ Jamie, 2004

"Hey, hey, you just sit there...you...weird boy!"
~ Simone to Jonathan, 2005

"Well JR you proved one thing today."
~ Jamie talking to JR after he got him kicked out of PVU
"That you and Babe don't have a chance?" ~ JR
"No...that Babe and I control your life." ~ Jamie, 2004

"This is our chance to bond. One rapist sibling to another."
~ Zach talking to Ryan, 2005

"I'm the one and only suspect. Where's the danger?...Ut Oh...I'm not the only suspect" ~ Zach
"Ryan's brother." ~ Maria
"Yeah, which one? The one that smacked Maggie around or the one that raped Jack Montgomery's sister?" ~ Zach, 2005

"I know I'm persona non-who-ha after our date went total search and seizure courtesy of the demented Kenlee duo."
~ Simone talking to Jonathan, 2005

"If breathing room is what you need why ask me."
~ Maggie about Bianca asking her to go to Paris
"Because you don't take up alot of space...not for me...you never have." ~ Bianca, 2005

"Hey I know you two. The crotchety old loud mouths in the balcony on the Muppets, right?"
~ David speaking Palmer and Adam, 2005

"Hayward one more word and you'll have to unzip your fly to brush your teeth!" ~ Ryan talking to David, 2005

"Jonathan huh...
First he hits on Maggie, then he hits Maggie, now you're on his hit list. I'm telling you we'll put together our girl power and bring that sucker down!" ~ Simone talking to Greenlee, 2005

"You were my rock...remember that? There was a time I didn't know how to put one foot in front of the other and you showed my how. I cherish every single part of you."
~ Bianca talking to Maggie, 2005

"You just dance through life spreading smiles and napalm."
~ Greenlee talking to Erica about letting Ryan discover the truth about his parentage, 2005

"You love me as a friend...just as a friend." ~ Maggie
"No...it's so much more than that" ~ Bianca, 2005

"Oh Johnny Cochran please give me strength."
~ Livia Frye, 2005

"Don't you look festive" ~ Ruth talking to Opal
"She looks like a float that escaped from the Lacy's Day Parade" ~ Palmer, 2003

"Pine Valley has enough bad guys without you keeping one as a personal pet."
~ Jackson talking to Erica about Zach, 2005

"It makes you crazy when I'm nice." ~ Greenlee
"That's cause you suck at it!" ~ Kendall, 2005

"I don't know why this keeps happening to me?" ~ Simone
"What keeps happening to you?" ~ Tad
"Me having sex with inappropriate men at weddings. I wish people would stop inviting me!" ~ Simone, Fan Feb 2003

"There's nothing for me here... ~ Zach
"Oh really, what about Dr. Maria Boom-Boom Grey?"
~ Erica, 2005

"You are just filled of self importance in a too tight sweater" ~ Erica to Maria, 2005

"I came to see Kendall not your short comings."
~ Erica to a presumed naked Ethan, 2004

"There are so many strings attached to you Zach Slater, your name should be Pinnochio." ~ Erica, 2004

"Maybe I was switched at birth like Miracularanda?"
~ Verla Grubbs, 2005

"He may be the village idiot, but he's got a Ph.D.."
~ Tad talking about David, 2005

"Maybe I'll come up with my New Year's resolutions...
~ Greenlee
That's a good idea... ~ Ryan while picking Kendall's lock
I resolve to exercise every day, cut back on sugar and totally give up breaking and entering!"
~ Greenlee, 2004

"Diet soda, nonfat yogart...for God's sake Kendall eat a cookie." ~ Greenlee going through Kendall's refrigerator, 2004

"Did you ever have that reoccurring nightmare where left the house and you forgot to put your pants on?" ~ Tad
"Your pants are on but I still see an ass." ~ Brooke, 2004

"That little girl's name is not Bess, it is Miranda Mona Montgomery and she is a Kane" ~ Erica, 2004

"Just stop it...It's my life, not yours. It's my Choice, not yours. Does that mean anything to you?"
~ Jamie talking to Tad, 2004

"If my daughter has snapped her twig it is not inherited...at least not from my side."
~ Mary Smythe talking about Greenlee, 2004

"Well, that was one of my weirder Thanksgivings, and with my family that's saying alot." ~ Bianca, 2004

"You had the bad luck to marry into this mess and the brains to divorce out of it." ~ Tad to Brooke, 2004

"That's it...that's all you have to say to me?" ~ Maria
"Want some juice? ~ Erica, 2004

"Didn't you every hear that desperate times call for desperate measures, brown eyes?" ~ Tad
"Check again they're Hazel" ~ Krystal, 2004

"I will take all 6 lbs of you and put you on my shoulder and take you there myself" ~ Ryan to Greenlee, 2004

"I was just remembering the last time we spent the night in a cheap hotel room." ~ Jamie to Babe, 2004

"We're living in Pine Valley Mom...when is something not happening." ~ Bianca to Erica, 2004

"Bianca you got the cuddly genes and Mom and a I got the denial, hissy fit, stopping out genes." ~ Kendall, 2004

"Are you the only lawyer in town?" ~ Derek
"I sure am." ~ Olivia, 2004

"Well you know me, when the going gets tough I run to my little sister for help" ~ Kendall to Erica, 2004

"Do you have an update on creepy Cramer for me?"
~ Babe to David, 2004

"I don't get this?" ~ David
"What's to get...your my dad." ~ Babe explaining to David why she hugged him, 2004

"I swear I just had an out of body experience watching myself walk out the door straight into trouble."
~ Tad talking about Jamie, 2004

"You said I don't owe you anything, well anything includes explanations." ~ Zach to Ethan, 2004

"You're really with me on this using your brother as bait?"
~ Adam
"Whatever it takes to get the job done." ~ JR
"That's my boy." ~ Adam, 2004

"Becareful Tad, sexy trash can be fun but it can be dangerous."~ Adam, 2004

"You stay out of the way or I'll take you down." ~ JR
"That's your family motto isn't it JR, well guess what, I'm Erica Kane's daughter and our family motto is we don't scare and we never back down." ~ Bianca, 2004

"Bess is my daughter, mine got that!" ~ JR, 2004

"We promised each other surprises everyday...Then I betray you...Are you surprised?" ~ Greenlee to Ryan, 2004

"Do you want me to cut out your tongue so Ryan can strangle you with it?" ~ Simone to Greenlee, 2004

"You might as well talk to the hand Edmund because I'm not buying what you're selling." ~ Aidan, 2004

"Just shut up Erica!" ~ Maria
"Or what?" ~ Erica, 2004

"Miranda...just saying her name makes me smile and hurts my heart at the same time." ~ Bianca, 2004

"Get out before I say something I'll regret!" ~ Adam
"You already did that's why they are gone." ~ Stuart, 2004

"Well as far as I'm concerned, if it walks like a weasel and talks like a weasel, it might as well be road kill."
~ Krystal talking about Paul Kramer, 2004

"Don't play blonde with me!" ~ Tad to Krystal, 2004

"What is it with you people. You've got everything but a secret handshake!"~ Tad to David, Krystal and Babe, 2004

"Hope can't hurt us...just have faith." ~ Babe, 2004

"I'll tell you what JR, when the inmates take over the asylem and elect you head crazy that's when I'll take orders from you." ~ Livie Cudahy, 2005

"It just came out...Did I just come out? You see I don't know. Can you help me make sense of this because I don't understand why I'm feeling this?" ~ Maggie, 2004

"Maggie give yourself a break...I'm not going to give you the lesbian pop quiz...yet. I'm kidding!" ~ Bianca, 2004

"I feel like I've been thrown into the deep end and I don't know how to swim. ~ Maggie
You've got a life guard on duty" ~ Bianca, 2004

"Mona can't help me now. My mother is dead." ~ Erica, 2004

"You know why your my favorite ex-wife?"
~ Adam to Brooke, 2004

"You're so calm, meditation or medication?"
~ Bianca to Greenlee, 2004

"I can't imagine what Mom is going through" ~ Bianca
"Probably a fifth a day" ~ Kendall, 2004

"I liked it better when he turned into a bat and just flew out the window."~ Tad talking about David, 2004

"When I heard her cry everything inside told me she was my baby." ~ Bianca talking about taking Bess, 2004

"The world's gone mad...Ryan and Greenlee are married and my mother is a showgirl in Las Vegas." ~ Bianca, 2004

"You are far beyond stupid, you make Moron look like Mensa." ~ Greenlee to Kendall, 2004

"I'm not going to talk to you , Alan or Derek or any of the other seven dwarfs!" ~ David to Livia, 2004

"Just take it!" ~ Simone
"I can't mommy says I can only take a bullet."
~ Michael, 2003

"Mia get a clue. Your track record with men doesn't exactly qualify you..." ~ Kendall
"You know what, until I marry a rapist, have his baby and get a accused of murdering him I think I'm a little bit ahead of you in the track record department!" ~ Mia, 2003

"No matter how many times I reject you, you know you have me." ~ Mary to Greenlee, 2003

"If that's not the pot calling the kettle horny." ~ Tad, 2004

"You know you are only related to us by crime."
~ Erica to Kendall, 2003

"It's hard to believe you liked her enough to produce little old me."~ Greenlee to Jackson about Mary, 2003

"Sometimes we get so involved with our own feelings that we never look at the hand that's held out to us in peace" ~ Mary Smythe
"I'm holding out my hand Mary and I'm going to slap you silly with it!" ~ Erica, 2003

"Who knew there was still life in the old bird? ~ Joe
"What are we talking about Palmer again?" ~ Opal, 2003

"Palmer, how are your eyebrows?" ~ Tad
"You've made my day." ~ Palmer, 2003

"Adam deserved that bullet." ~ Palmer
"Because you are overly senstive about your eyebrows?"
~ Opal
"THEY ARE NOT DYED!" ~ Palmer, 2003

"Three's a crowd." ~ Aidan
"And four is a fiasco." ~ Ryan, 2003

"I've started to think he might be on to something." ~ Opal
"You're thinking that's a classic oxymoron." ~ Palmer, 2003

"You better get your hands off my son before old Zeus decides to smack you with a thunder bolt."
~ Tad to Mary Smythe, 2003

"That boy has a serious attitude problem!" ~ Greenlee
"It seems to be a family trait." ~ Jackson, 2003

"Your braids are too tight!" ~ Greenlee to Reggie, 2003

"I can't believe they'd let an amnesiac operate on Carlos!"
~ Simone, 2003

"How's it feel?" ~ Bianca
"It feels like clothes that don't fit." ~ Frankie
"Well Change your shirt." ~ Bianca, 2001

"You know just because you got hit with the Daddy stick doesn't mean you can boss me around" ~ Greenlee, 2003

"I can feel Death breathing down my neck." ~ Alex Cambias
"That's the air conditioning." ~ Ryan, 2003

"Has your memory receded along with your hairline."
~ Opal to Palmer, 2003

"Why you really are a disgusting little man."
~ Jackson to Michael, 2003

"Isn't strange how Greed and Stupidity go hand in hand."
~ Adam to Michael, 2003

"If you want something to stress over...go home and do your homework!" ~ Bianca to Reggie, 2003

"You screwed my wife and I'll be damned that you'll screw my son!" ~ Adam to Ryan, 2003

"You've got an emotional wedgie." ~ Mia to Greenlee, 2003

"Opal, I don't have time for your dog patch dilemma of the day." ~ Erica to Opal, 2005

"I've had a hell of a time finding you." ~ Palmer
"Great now get lost." ~ Adam, 2003

"I thought you guys would be together forever." ~ JR
"Yeah, well, I don't do forever very well". ~ Kendall, 2002

"Opal I do not need you to play southern fried shrink!"
~ Erica, 2002

"Old Pete Cooney has a plan." ~ Adam, 2003

"And how does that make you feel." ~ Tad to Lysistrata, 2003

"You took root in my heart the day I met you and there you'll be till the day I die." ~ Jackson to Erica, 2003

"Even my shrink is a sellout." ~ Greenlee, 2003

"Erica you look wonderful." ~ Greenlee
"Of Course I do Greenlee" ~ Erica, 2001

"I didn't raise my son to work on a cargo ship..." ~ Adam
"Yes you did...this is what he has chosen." ~ Liza, 2003

"I've been putting a poison pill in place." ~ Erica
" Gee Erica I though you swore off pills." ~ Michael, 2003

"Mom when are you going to grow up?"
~ Bianca to Erica, 2003

"You chose Michael, so quit booty blocking me!"
~ Simone to Kendall, 2003

"I have one word of advice Erica, Don't Wait." ~ Opal
"That's two words" ~ Erica, 2003

"I get up every morning, I put on my clothes, I drink my coffee and I start my day without her."
~ Tad on the occasion of Dixie's 1st anniversary, 2003

"If anybody's going to play Vin Diesel it's going to be me."
~ Derek Frye, 2003

"Suffering through these reports was like going through root canal followed by a bikini wax" ~ Liza Colby, 2003

"You should discuss your problem with a shrink" - Erica
"What problem is that?" ~ Michael
"Premature Congratulations." ~ Erica, 2003

"It's about time I became the hero of my own life."
~ Kendall, 2003

"You stabbed me in the back with your Swedish meatballs!" ~ Phoebe Tyler Wallingford

"I think that woman's pilot light is out" ~ Verla Grubbs

"I won't let you forget me. Everywhere you look I'll be there. Whispering my love through trees. Beaming my pride from the sun. Softening your night with moon beams. Laughing in the twinkling of the stars."
~ David reading from Leora's book "Little Rabbit's World", 2003