"Have you noticed the more time you spend with Josh the more you screw up his life." ~ Erica to Jeff about trying to help Josh, 2006

"I don't have to worry about my reputation." ~ Jeff
"That's 'cause you're a Martin." ~ Josh, 2006

"You must have practiced your little innocent act the whole why up here." ~ Dixie to Tad about his "rescue", 2006

"He did the wrong thing but for the right reasons, you did the right thing for the wrong reasons." ~Dixie explaining David's deception to Tad, 2006

"Tad, I know how David is, he's a class A jerk. But the one thing I can count on is he's out for David." ~ Dixie
"Doesn't sound like a compliment to me." ~ Tad, 2006

"You know when I was in Kindergarten you know what my teach wrote in
my report card?" ~ Kendall
"No, what?" ~ Zach
"Doesn't share well with others." ~ Kendall
"Hmm..." ~ Zach
"Well nothing's changed." ~ Kendall, talking about Zach wanting to help Dixie, 2006

"You remember when you did all that research on my family? How you cut me out because I wasn't a blood Martin? That was a real mistake because my real father was a sadistic son of a bitch. Which mean somewhere inside of me is a man who is willing to do whatever I have to, to get what I want." ~ Tad to Greg about finding Kate, 2006

"Tad I thought you and trouble were old news?" ~ Jesse
"I guess I'm just irresistible." ~ Tad, 1995

"I'm glad you finally got it right." ~ Tom to Erica about her marriage to Dimitri, 1995

"Then there was the time when your wife stormed into my office and threatened to report me to the AMA." ~ Paul Martin
"I know it was the ABA but I was a trifle upset." ~ Erica, 1995

"You do Remember what I did to your nephew Will, right?" ~ Janet
"Are you threatening me?" ~ Palmer
"No, I like to call it a friendly reminder." ~ Janet, 1995

"Janet Green, how dare you show your reconstructed face around here." ~ Palmer, 1995

"You won't believe how alive I can make you feel if you just let me." ~ Ryan to Kendall, 2002

"I know you don't like me telling you how to live your life and believe me I don't like having to tell you how to live your life." ~ Jackson to Erica about getting involved with Chris Stamp Again, 2002

"Sometimes it's really hard to see family for what they really are." ~ Hayley talking to Liza about Mia, 2002

"You're into cars but you are also a one man blue collar union." ~ JR
"Oww...now you really got me with that note. Well you know I don't feel like a complete loser standing next to someone whose a useless sac with no skills, no job and plenty of daddy's money." ~ Jamie, 2005

"You will never break me...I'm Dr. Greg Madden. I'll have all my children and more." ~ Greg, talking to himself while buried alive, 2006

"You are the one who gave her the champagne." ~ Erica
"So what, I didn't tell the little freak to get behind the wheel and drive drunk." ~ Kendall being blamed for Bianca's DUI, 2002

"Who do you think you are talking to me like that!" ~ Kendall
"I'm Erica Kane's daughter and I want you out of our house!" ~ Bianca, 2002

"Mother...people have said on rare occasions that you can be a little self centered."
~ Kendall talking Erica into leaving on her honeymoon with Jackson
"Don't lose that." ~ Greenlee, 2005

"I thought you were smart. Boy was I wrong." ~ Greenlee talking to Kendall, 2002

"You know I just can't wrap my hairdo around the idea that someone from my gene pool has just stopped talking." ~ Opal to Tad about Jamie's not talking, 2002

"I'll Be watching you." ~ Josh
"Then I'll make sure I look my best. Okay pumpkin." ~ Jamie, 2006

"You make me possible." ~ Greenlee to Leo, 2002

"Do you remember do overs?" ~ Leo
"You mean from when we were kids? ~ Greenlee
"How about we go back to your place and have a do over." ~ Leo, 2002

"Erica you look fabulous." ~ Greenlee
"Of course I do Greenlee." ~ Erica, 2001

"Is this turning into an after school special? ~ Maggie to David about her childhood
"Well, that's good because that's exactly what I was going for." ~ David, 2002

"Do I look like the Grim Reaper to you?" ~ David
"That's not fair...don't ask me that." ~ Zach, 2006

"Why don't you find a new damsel in distress?" ~ David to Zach, 2006

I'm sorry...when you vowed till death do you part I didn't think JR would get to pick the day."
~ Bianca to Babe, 2006

"When are you going to learn Dixie, Martin couldn't find the sun if it spun out of the sky and landed on his head." ~ David talking to Dixie & Tad, 2006

"Mathematics will be a snap since I am a certifiable accountant. Certified, I mean."
~ Janet talking to Babe about Little A's Home Schooling, 2006

"This is all your fault." ~ Krystal
"Me?" ~ Adam
"You bent this twig so you straighten him out!" ~ Krystal talking to Adam about JR, 2006

“Me, nearly carved up for open heart surgery?” ~ David asking Amanda if Janet did it
”You’re Babe’s Dad and like you said, you’re a jerk.” ~ Amanda, 2006

“I wanted him to be a better man than I ever was.” ~ Zach talking to Dixie about Ethan, 2006

"I'll call you after the Ball. It's Pine Valley Binx something always happens."
~ Kendall talking to Bianca on the phone, 2006

"You wanna do me a favor? Just keep telling me the night's not going to shape up to become another world class Pine Valley disaster." ~ Tad talking to Di about the Mardi Gras Ball, 2006

"Lily, does your Dad know you are dating Jonathan?" ~ Livia
"Yes he knows I like Jonathan." ~ Lily
"And he doesn't approve of it, does he?" ~ Livia
"Well he didn't like it when Greenlee married Ryan or when Zach married Kendall. And Erica really didn't like it when Zach married Kendall." ~ Lily
"And what does that teach you?" ~ Livia
"That it's a tradition in our family for women to chose a man that our father doesn't like." ~ Lily, 2006

"That would be the wrong answer here Dad, okay." ~ Simone to Zach, 2006

"I wouldn't love you if you had your face reconstructed and you called yourself Johnny Depp."
~ Krystal to Adam
"You tell him Krystal." ~ Brooke, 2006

"Hey there are two of us we could kill him." ~ Brooke talking about Adam
"Guaranteed happy ending for everybody." ~ Krystal, 2006

"What was that?" ~ Joe hearing a noise
"A heart felt rejection." ~ Opal responding to Krystal's offer of Adam, 2006

"I guess we have some thing in common besides Adam." ~ Brooke talking about not liking raisins
"Yeah, Tad" ~ Krystal, 2006

"How did I get so lucky as to be married to two women as beautiful as you?"
~ Adam talking to Brooke and Krystal
"You're rich." ~ Krystal, 2006

"Your sister needs help or as I call it Aiding and Abetting." ~ Erica to Bianca, 2004

"Hello Lazarus." ~ Tom to Edmund at Edmund's funeral, 1995

"Edmund I declared you legally dead I hope you won't hold it against me." ~ Joe, 1995

"Jack?" ~ Erica, after asking the family who thinks Kendall & Zach have a chance
"I'm going to exercise my right to abstain." ~ Jack
"I'm exercising his right also." ~ Reggie, 2006

"Daughter as brainwashing victim. Well that's really flattering." ~ Kendall, 2006

"When are they coming out with the Ryan Lavery action figure? They will make millions, especially if it doesn't talk." ~ Zach to Ryan, 2006

"I was under ice last night. Why what were you under?" ~ Di to Julia
"Ahhh…under something a whole lot warmer." ~Julia, 2006

"Even in revenge I get screwed." ~ Simone, 2006

"Adam wasn't completely wrong." ~ Di/xie
"That's something you don't hear everyday." ~ Brooke, 2005

"Okay what's with Greenlee's psycho elf bit?" ~ Maggie, 2003

"I feel like I popped nude out of a cake at the Pope's birthday." ~ Babe, 2003

"I'm so sorry Joe was called to the hospital. He would have enjoyed this."
~ Ruth talking about JR's new wife Babe
"He's a fan of train wrecks?" ~ Palmer, 2003

"I'm having fun. You remember fun Greenlee, F U ... whatever.
~ Leo to Greenlee who's just crashed his date, 2001

"Play nice guys it's Thanksgiving." ~ Babe
"Yes, and I'm thankful it only comes once a year." ~ Adam, 2005

"Welcome to Thanksgiving Chandler Style." ~ JR to Di, 2005

"I don't have a wife. I have a hangover I can't get rid of." ~ Adam talking to Palmer about Krystal, 2005

"You are inviting me to leave my own livingroom? When hell freezes over." ~ Adam to Babe
"The temperature is dropping fast so go on Dad." ~ JR, 2005

"When she hired you against your father's wishes you were all about La fabioloa Kane."
~ Hazel talking to Josh, 2005

"He's the cherry on the psycho sundae." ~ Zach talking about Jonathan, 2005

"I was wrong." ~ Di talking to Dixie's family
"I'm sorry Greenlee, I was wrong." ~ Ryan to Greenlee
"I wasn't wrong." ~ Zach to Kendall, 2005

"The man cheated death I think he can survive a punch"
~ Jack talking to Erica about hitting Ryan, 2005

"I didn't cheat Death, Greenlee, Death cheated me."
~ Ryan, 2005