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"JR you weren't my first." ~ Babe
"I know that." ~ JR
"No, I mean you weren't my first husband." ~ Babe, 2004

"Do you know what we need?" ~ Greenlee to the Fusion Girls
"Yeah a cold shower." ~ Tad, 2003

"How do you think she'll do in jail?" ~ Carlos talking about Simone
"She was Miss Popularity last time." ~ Greenlee, 2003

"To the moon Liza." ~ Tad
"You think you can send me there? ~ Liza
"I used too." ~ Tad, 2003

"Life is ugly and brutal and vicious. You either step up and match ugly with ugly or you become emotional road kill." ~ David to Julia, 2006

"Did you hurt him?" ~ Erica
"I don't know…does unconscience count?" ~ Jackson, talking about punching Ryan, 2005

"Can we stop at the mall…andddd…get a tattoo?" ~ Colby at age 5
"You know what, as soon as your Dad gets a pierced ear we'll get you a tattoo how's that sound." ~ Liza, 2003

"So what you're saying is that all of the cow clues are connected and some how if we just follow the hoof prints…" ~ Liza
"We are going to find out that Jamie has slept with his brother's wife." ~ Tad, 2003

"The name's Slater, Zach Slater." ~ Zach introducing himself to Kendall and Ryan for the first time in Vegas, 2004

"How else will people know I'm all grown up?" ~ Colby giving a skimpy description of her dream dress for her party, 2006
"I'm confused do you want to look all grown up or like a Las Vegas hooker?" ~ JR's response

"This is the way the party should have been from the beginning. All about me." ~ Colby, 2006

"You called your son Spike. I can't imagine what you'd name your dog." ~ Erica to Kendall, 2006

"Would you tell your brother he's too stupid to handle a gun." ~ Tad talking to Di about Del holding him at gunpoint, 2006

"It wasn't my turn to watch your daddy this week. My job is to keep him and you two idiots away from Dixie so she stays out of prison." ~ Zach to JR and Jamie

"The rich and famous of Pine Valley, they make their own rules. If you wanna survive you gotta remember rule number one. Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear." ~ Krystal to Di, 2005

"Okay Adam, I'm going to count to ten. If this blood sucker is not gone by the time I've finished I will personally undo her very extensive plastic surgery." ~ Erica talking to Adam about Mary Leaving the room, 2003

"If you want a party at all you'll deal with it." ~ Krystal to Colby about her list
"Looks like I'll have to turn tricks to get the rest." ~ Colby
"Funny, I'm sure your father would love to hear that." ~ Krystal, 2006

"Well isn't this cosy. The man who tried to kill me clinking glasses with the man who stabbed me in the heart." ~ Kendall to Zach and JR at CONFusion, 2006

"Well I'm tired of feeling stupid because of a woman." ~ Tad to Aidan about Dixie, 2006

"Wow, I'm going on about my scandalous affair with Jamie and you're doing Aidan Devane."
~ Julia to Di, 2006

"Just give me a minute." ~ A Drunk Zach asking to talk to Kendall
"You know what I'll give you? I'll give you 5 inches of my Jimmy Choo's straight up your..."
~ Kendall's decidedly negative response, 2006

"Well what I say is Love is like one big pub crawl. It seem like a great idea at the time until wake up in the morning stripped to your boxer shorts, burnt to a crisp and stranded half way up Mount Kilimanjaro." ~ Aidan explaining love to Tad
"Why can't you do anything like a normal person??" ~ Tad's response to his advice, 2006

"Watch your tone Junior. It makes me want to put my fist right through your face." ~ Zach to JR after he asks about his intentions toward Dixie, 2006

"So what's up? Why are you implying that the less we know about the doctors demise ...?"
~ Jamie questioning Tad about the fact he won't let Aidan help Dixie
"I'm not implying. I'm telling you how it's going to be. Don't go digging into her private life"
~ Tad, 2006

"Honey the only thing that you do to make yourself memorable is to make yourself easy."
~ Sydney
"Well, whatever works." ~ Colby, 2006

"And I'll get on with my life that is the science project." ~ Josh talking to Erica and Jeff, 2006

"Jonathan loves me. He knows that I'm not incompetent. He knows that different doesn't mean less than." ~ Lily to Jackson after receiving her court petition for a competency hearing, 2006

"Just in case be prepared for anything." ~ Ryan advising Kendall about Zach's Bail Hearing
"After all it is Pine Valley." ~ Kendall, 2006

"By the way, Mom might give you a call...she kind of walked in on Julia and me doing the wild thing." ~ Jamie to Tad, 2006

"Unrequited love is a dangerous thing. It can make a man desperate." ~ Tad to Adam about David, 2006

"Here we are banging our heads against the wall. And all this time I've been praying that Dr. Dave will swing in with his high school chemistry set and save the day. Put things to rights."
~ Tad
"When has David Hayward put anything to rights? What are you going to do drug us all?" ~ Adam to David after his announcement he'll be the one to help Dixie get out of jail, 2006

"Howdy Sheriff! Come to buy a yacht?" ~ A drunk Tad talking to Derek at the yacht club, 2006

"Now tell me, do you have a hot date on Mount Rushmore with a blonde in a trench coat?"
~ Tad to Aidan
"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you." ~ Aidan, 2006

"It's 9 am Tad." ~ David to a drunk Tad
"Yeah, I know. It's a good thing...it gives you plenty of time to catch up. You're going to need it when you find out whose been nailing the woman of our collective dreams." ~ Tad talking about Dixie, 2006

"Well I've gotta go. I have an appointment to have a tattoo put on my forehead, Property of Kendall...in red." ~ Zach trying to get Kendall to understand she's the only one for him
"That will work for me." ~ Kendall, 2006

"The only friends I had when I was on the run were the imaginary kind." ~ Colby to Adam

"You're just like Liza. You know I was just trying to make new friends." ~ Colby to Adam after being caught 1/2 dressed with a frat boy
"With your clothes off!" ~ Adam, 2006

"What's the matter Zach, couldn't say it with flowers?" ~ Tad after being punched in the face by Zach

"Hello, Hollywood Records, I'm friends with Jesse, Jesse McCartney. Actually we were related for awhile. Anyways, I'm having a sweet sixteen party and I would love for him to come play."
~ Colby, 2006

"Certainly I can't afford to be represented by somebody who passed the bar by sending in box tops." ~ Erica upon finding out that Trevor Dillon will be representing her at her attempted murder trial, 1994

"DNA stands for Diabolical Nasty Ass." ~ Julia talking about Josh, 2006

"What was that?" ~ JR
"All Hell trying to break loose on one compact disc." ~ Babe explaining the CD JR listened to of Greg Madden's Last confession, 2006

"Wow, Jonathan your glasses have satisfying symmetry." ~ Lily to Jonathan about his job of stacking the glasses at ConFusion, 2006

"I've got to tell you tweedle dumber, you really are making the worst mistake of your life."
~ David to Jamie about hitting him on the head, 2006

"There might be snow on the mountain top but the Volcano is far from dormant." ~ Krystal talking about Adam, 2005

"You are living really well for a dead woman." ~ Tad to Dixie, 2006

"Does loving you matter if I can't forget how you broke my heart?" ~ Babe to JR, 2006

"I wouldn't call a teenager without a cell phone a savage." ~ Krystal to Adam about Liza withholding a cell phone from Colby, 2006

"I want you to understand what you are dealing with here." ~ Krystal talking to Adam about Colby
"A misunderstood young girl." ~ Adam
"A fifteen year old female Adam Chandler." ~ Krystal, 2006

"The Babe that I know charges the stone wall until she breaks through." ~ JR
"Kendall and her back up singers aren't exactly playing fair." ~ Babe, 2006

"The original was erased by my Fusion Fan Club." ~ Babe Talking about her London Fog Presentation to JR, 2006