"What's up fish-n-chips? You better have something to tell me in that weird little accent." ~ Tad to Aidan, 2007

"Hey Josh have you met Maggie the two faced liar, just like Babe only she's imported." ~ Erica, 2007

"Honey, that tramp broke your heart (to Bianca). And Josh that tramp has no brain." ~ Erica to her children about Maggie & Babe, 2007

"Zach Slater...Lobster Slayer!" ~ Zach to Kendall, 2005

"I got to call Erica Mom. I know she's fighting it but I know she's got a bit of a thing for me." ~ Zach
"Right and you com to that conclusion because???" ~ Kendall
"Because the smoke coming out of her ears was in the shape of a heart."
~Zach, 2005

"For the last time Zarf is not a serial killer." ~ Babe to Josh
"Right and JR's not homicidal and your not one bleach bottle away from brain dead." ~ Kendall to Babe, 2007

"It's not enough to be sorry. The words are easy. It's what you do that's important." ~ Judge Walsh, 2007

"How 'bout we all take a nap and wake up when we're all dead?" ~ Babe to Josh, 2007

"Josh is my problem." ~ Babe
"Your problem is you can't stay dressed and vertical when you are around him." ~ Erica, 2007

"Nice work Tom Cruise you've gone and blown my cover." ~ Zarf to Josh, 2007

"What are you talking about? I put the Fun in Dysfunctional." ~ Colby to JR & Adam, 2006

"Get out you nasty little skank!" ~ Kendall to Colby as she forcibly exits her from Josh's room, 2006

"You know if someone in this town bought stock in the local DNA lab they'd be loaded." ~ Josh
"That's True" ~ Kendall, 2006

"One of the purest auras I've ever experienced has reminded me that one person's beliefs are another person's woo-who." ~ Zarf to Kendall, 2006

"How did I get involved with you people?" ~ Greenlee to Kendall, Simone and Mia
"Because you have no friends!" ~ Simone, 2003

"I'll fill a bathtub with the best bubbly that money can buy and we'll drink ourselves naked." ~ Zarf
"You see that's why I only let a man try to get me naked once a day." ~ Simone, 2006

"I'm a lesbian." ~ Bianca
"Of course you are." ~ Zarf, 2006

"When you're through drooling on my sister I'd like to borrow her." ~ Kendall to Zarf, 2006

"You went up against a despised pariah that my daughter wouldn't even have sex with and you still couldn't win her?" ~ Erica to JR, 2005

"I hate to see him leave but I love to watch him go." ~ Erin talking about a naked Zarf, 2006

"Your father doesn't define you anymore than mine defined me, you decide who you are."
~ Tad to Babe, 2006

"Was there a memo? Did I miss a memo…did you not give me one?" ~ Simone
"Ah yeah like Kendall declared it naked Zarf day…I don't think so." ~ Danielle, 2006

"I'm so sick of everyone looking to me for answers. When did I become a magic eight ball?"
~ Bianca to Babe, 2006

"Are you okay?" ~ Amanda worried about Lily
"This is my third Thanksgiving...I came prepared (pulls out earplugs) ~ Lily, 2006

"I've never been to Africa. I'm very curious about it. Why don't you tell us all about your travels there?" ~ Bianca to Jeff
"It's a beautiful amazing place. You see things there you never thought you would have." ~ Jeff
"Sounds a lot like Pine Valley ~ Jackson
"What things Jeff?" ~ Erica
"Well if ever see a Lion make a kill shortly there after the hyenas, jackles and vultures decend on the carcus and then minutes later there's nothing left." ~ Jeff
"So I ask again how is that different from Pine Valley?" ~ Jackson, 2006

"You actually have a family of your own?" ~ Erica to Annie trying to make her feel uncomfortable
"Yeah, well not as big a family as you have Miss Kane. Tell me just how many of your husbands did you invite to this party?" ~ Annie, 2006

"You killed my dream of you and me and you spit all over me in the process. So I killed your dream of finding Kate." ~ David to Dixie, 2006

"You have such a wonderful gift for being amazingly shallow and dense all at the same time."
~ Brooke to Erica, 2006

"When you love someone...you can forgive the unforgivable." ~ Bianca to Kendall, 2006

"When will you people learn. Do as I say not do as I do." ~ Kendall to Bianca, 2006

"You're dumber than a box of rocks." ~ Kendall to Babe, 2006

"You give me that baby and get out of my daughter's home." ~ Erica
"Oh Great." ~ Zach, 2006

"Without hope you die." ~ Dixie
"Nah, you keep living, it just feel like you're dead that's all." ~ Zach, 2006

"That kid is Kate, the DNA test proved that..." ~ David argueing with Tad
"...Is worthless...A Test from you is like a promise from Adam." ~ Tad, 2006

"I'm sorry Binx...can I call you Binx now?" ~ Josh talking to Bianca and Eria, 2006

"Killer signed divorce papers...sweet." ~ Josh talking about Zach, 2006

"I'm not your on call hooker." ~ Babe to JR, 2006

"I was in the office up to my earrings in paperwork." ~ Amanda, 2006

"I said incontinence of penmanship." ~ Stuart talking to Tad after posing as Adam, 2004

"I've got a gun and it's aimed at his…" ~ Brooke talking to Tad on the phone
"A gun?" ~ Tad
"I'll call you back I'm going to need both hands for this." ~ Brooke, 2004