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Movies/Television Quotes

"You've gotta party young and have a monkey." ~ Sheen, Adventures of Sheen

"Goodnight puney human!" ~ Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

"I see my friend Darrell is here representing the muscle t-shirt and hairy back people."
~ Dave Hester, Storage Wars

"It's like fighting a kid that needs a telethon!" ~ Noel, Pretty Little Liars

"She's an evil Super Hero and her dimples are like her mask." ~ Tracy, Jerseylicious

"It's like watching Sybil and the 3-Faces of Eve have a lovefest." ~ Alexa, Jerseylicious

"If I'm driving down the road and see a billboard with a hot chick who turns out to be my mother I'm crashing the car on purpose!" ~ Philly, Jerseylicious

"The last thing I need is 6 dead heads in my new cooler." ~ Hollywood Barry, Storage Wars

"You can't bring me down. I'm fully medicated." ~ Bernie Mac

"Bazinga, I don't care." ~ Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

"Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch." ~ Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

"In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, Beware my power...Green Lantern's Light!" ~ Hal Jordan

"I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out." ~ Raj
"Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic." ~ Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

"I'm not Gay but I'll learn." ~ Home Simpson

"There ar 5 stages of grief. You don't have to go through them all at once." ~ Det. John Munch, LO:SVU

"She died calmly, and her countenance expressed affection even in death. I need not describe the feelings of those whose dearest ties are rent by that most irreparable evil, the void that presents itself to the soul, and the despair that is exhibited on the countenance. It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she whom we saw every day and whose very existence appeared a part of our own, can have departed forever - that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished and the sound of a voice so familiar and dear to the ear can be hushed, never more to be heard."~ Mary W. Shelly, Frankenstein

"And I remember thinking to myself...this is the beginning of happiness...this is where it starts and of course there will be always be more. Never occured to me that it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment, right then." ~ Clarissa, The Hours

"Hey guys one more thing, hey this summer when you're indendated with all this American Bicentennial brew-ha-ha. Don't forget what you're celebrating and that's the fact that a bunch of slave owning, aristocratic white males didn't want to pay thier taxes." ~ Janie the teacher
"Yeah!!" ~ Randall "Pink" Floyd, Dazed and Confused

"The only think I ever regret about you being my father is I inherited your tremendous nose."
~ Iggie, Author, Author

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome again. True story."
~ Barney, How I Met Your Mother

"Oh hey there's that young doctor who told the jury I was a sociopath." ~ Max
"...a likeable sociopath." ~ Dr. Sweets , Bones

"Sarge, I know wht you did for me. I know how far you carried me." ~ Teddy Parker's Ghost, Bones

"I am in fact a hugh weirdo." ~ Gespacho

"Hello anybody lose there secret CIA shit?" ~ Burn after reading

"Well, it was love at first sight. Actually, it was, no, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears." ~ Michael Scott, The Office

"Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds you stand alone, my friend." ~ Michae to Toby, The Office

"I got tired swimming against the current." ~ Burn After Reading

"I'm British, we don't use guns we use our forheads" ~ Bones

"Be glad you're a pasty face Brit albino Vinny." - Addison
"Cheers" - Nigel Murray

"I did leave the country...I went to New York." ~ Jack Devereaux, Days of Our Lives

"I don't know what you're doing here?" ~ Alexander
"I was in the comic." ~ Alexandra
"What?" ~ Alexander, Josie and the Pussycats

"So this is love? Well love is a gift a lot of people don't remember that. So you two better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly at you from a never ending parade of stupid." ~ Miss Maybelle
"So you've met my mother." ~ Penny, Hairspray

"Darrow had Leopold and Loeb...who do we have?" ~ Adam
"Beavis and Butthead." ~ Jack McCoy, Law & Order

"The guys a lawyer."
"Hmm, I'll be in mourning for the next five minutes. ~ Lenny, Law & Order

"Greed is good." ~ Gorden Gekko, Wall Street

"You are more ravaged than I am" ~ Marge, shocked that she and Homer are same age.
"Well I do eat a lot of crap." ~ Homer

"Up until then the only parents I've ever met were my own. And that didn't go very well." ~ Dorian Blues

"Second hand smoke kills you know." ~ Hillary Faye
"I'm counting on it." ~ Cassandra, SAVED!

"Come in I'll put on a pot of bourbon." ~ Rumor Has It

"When you've got the music you've got friends for life. That's why I'm never lonely."
~Joe John, The Boys & Girl from County Clare

"I think it's trying to suck his brains out." ~ Grim
"The poor things going to starve." ~ Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

"You have a ride to community service so I'm going to the Grocery. Do you want anything? ~ Sandy
"One of those chocolate energy bars and a Fleets enima" ~ Tim
"I'm not buying you chocolate." ~ Sandy, Imaginary Heroes"

"Right now you're just browsing through time. Choose the things you'll be proud of, things that last."
~ Peggy Sue Got Married

"Who taught you to be so cruel?" ~ Lila
"You did Mama...you did." ~ Tom, Prince of Tides

"We're not playing your stupid game...
It's better than Joan's pipe dreams from a crazy woman!" ~ Girlfriends

"If you can dodge a wrench....you can dodge a ball." ~ Patches O'Houlihan, Dodgeball

"Choose between yesterday and tomorrow." ~ Message in a Bottle

"I read you were shot five times in the tabloids ~ Nora Charles
"It's not true...he never got anywhere near my tabloids." ~ Nick Charles, The Thin Man

"I know a guy who knows a guy who robbed a guy." ~ Huggie Bear, Starsky & Hutch

"Chicks cannot hold their smoke...that's what it is" ~ The Breakfast Club

"Here's to the army and navy and the battles they have won...
Here's to America's colors that never run...
May the wings of Liberty never lose a feather." ~ Big Trouble In Little China

"Someone has to die so that the rest of us should value life more." ~ Virginia Woolfe ~ The Hours

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making people believe he didn't exist."
~ Kaiser Sose, The Usual Suspects

"Your happy...I Hate THAT! ~ Buddy Ackerman, Swimming With Sharks

"I have always relied on the kindness of strangers."
"Well that's a stupid thing to do." ~ Angels In America

"So you are the neighborhood Lolita?" ~ Paul
"So you are the alcoholic, buddy, shit for brains?" ~ Marty, Beautiful Girls

"If I knew anything about straight men do you think I'd be hanging out with you two homos?"
~ Grace, Will and Grace

"What are you?" ~ Bad guy
"I'm complicated." ~ Dorian Grey, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

"You surprised?" ~ Eddie
"Surprised Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now." ~ Clark, Christmas Vacation

"I can't shake your hand right now I've got to keep my hands on the first penis."
~ Matt Douglas, My Fellow Americans

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda, prada..." ~ Karen, Will & Grace

"Leonard, always the years between us, always the years...Always the love, always the hours."
~ Virginia Woolfe, The Hours

"Frannie, can I get you anything?" ~ John
" Yeah, yesterday and most of today." ~ Frannie, Hotel New Hampshire

"Sharing the world has never been humanities defining attribute." ~ Charles Xavier, X-Men 2

"Remember our motto: Be On Time, Do Your Work, Be Down In The Bar by 5:30."
~ Mike Culter, Desk Set

"Darlin' just cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid." ~ Sweet Home Alabama

"The eyes are the window to your soul and the zipper is the window to your underwear."
~ Jack, W&G

"Life makes no sense." ~ Home For The Holidays

"You know what Fine stands for? Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional"
~ Charlie, The Italian Job

"So how's your life? ....In Progress" ~ Gross Pointe Blank

"That's what I like about High School girls...I get older and they stay the same age."
~ Waterson, Dazed and Confused

"I'm a minority in a minority in a minority and no one's covering my a$$." ~ Chasing Amy

"You've never been bitten by a mosquito have ya Pats?" ~ Edina
"The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford Clinic." ~ Patsy Stone - Ab Fab

"Wait let me ask Jesus what to do...(pause for prayer)...Jesus said we can bury them out back."
~ Ma James, American Outlaws

"She just asked the fairy a question about the engine...OH GOD we are going to die!"
~ Karen, Will and Grace

"Damn the man...Save the Empire!" ~ Empire Records

"Things you own end up owing you." ~ Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"I never thought I'd be drinking with a Klingon." ~ Scotty, Star Trek 5

"It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The one's that really matter, full of darkness and danger they were. And some times you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end its only a passing thing, the shadow. Even darkness must pass but that day will come. And when the sun shines it'll shines out the clearer. Those are the stories that stay with you. That meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances in turnin' back but only they didn't. They kept goin' because they were holding on to something. ~ Sam Wise
What are we holding on to Sam? ~ Frodo Baggins
That there is some good in this world Mr. Frodo...and its worth fightin' for." ~ Sam Wise, LOTR, TT

"Hello Mr. Anderson." ~ Agent Smith, Matrix Reloaded

"Because in the end the only way we can measure the significance of our own lives is by valuing the lives of others." ~ David Gale , The Life of David Gale

"I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." ~ Notting Hill

"Movies aren't reality. They're not kissing with there tongues. It's fake 22, the girl is bored, the guy is gay it's celuloid propoganda ~ Joey Potter
Joey, Joey, you bitter cynical jaded thing ~ Dawson Leery
You used to be bitter and cynical too...you were far more interesting."~ Joey Potter - Dawson's Creek

"What's really going to bake your noodle later is, would you have broken it (a vase) if I hadn't said anything?
~ The Oracle, The Matrix

"I give up, I throw up my hands and jut out my hip!" ~ Jack McFarland, Will and Grace

"I can't get married...I'm a 30 year old boy." ~ Fight Club

"Come on it takes a Village People" ~ Carsen, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

"I need a ridlin smoothy." ~ Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

"What's with the latin?" ~ Boys and Girls

"I'm doing some divorce mainly, some property, some personal injury." ~ Kent
"Those sound all related." ~ Martin Blank, Gross Pointe Blank

"Look we go way back and I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it." - RUBIN
"Hey No problem...we've never been to Belise." - DANNY ~ Ocean's Eleven

"It's Rex Manning Day!" ~ Empire Records

"Let's face it Frank, garden slugs got more out of life than you!" ~ Ghost of Christmas Past
"Oh yeah, name one." ~ Frank Cross

"Oh I forgot you weren't there the day they taught Law at Law School...It doesn't matter what is true it only matters what I can prove!" ~ Danny Caffey, A Few Good Men

"Fredo...you broke my heart." ~ The Godfather II

"You said she had a nice a$$!" - Adrienna (Sopranos)
"I was trying to say something positive cause she's your friend." - Christopher

"Get off the flames and show me the flamers!" ~ Jack McFarland - Will & Grace

"What is worse, to destroy a man who seeks the truth or destroy the truth so no man can seek it?"~ X-Files

"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could they never asked themselves if they should!"
~ Jurassic Park

"Pimps, pimps...pimps is such an ugly word....we could call ourselves love brokers." ~ Night Shift

"With great power comes great responsibility" ~ Spiderman

"If I had a tumor I'd name it Marla." ~ Fight Club

"How about you go get me a cup of coffee? ~ K
"How you want it? Black with a couple of cubes of kiss my a$$?" ~ J, Men In Black II

"I gave her my heart...she gave me a pen." ~ Lloyd Dopler, Say Anything

"It says here that you've missed work several days this week... ~ One of the Bobs
Well Bob to be honest I'd have to say I haven't exactly been missing it." ~ Office Space

"Human knowledge belongs to the world like Shakespeare or aspirin." ~ Antitrust

"You tell them I'm coming and I'm bring hell with me!" ~ Tombstone

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." ~ Morpheus, The Matrix

"Do you want to play a game?" ~ Joshua, Wargames

"This is Texas my florist has a gun." ~ Miss Congeniality

"Let's just beat these buffys down...I'm on curfew girl." ~ Bring It On

"Hello Dave." ~ 2001 A Space Odyssey

"It's purring like a kitten" ~ Grace
"Yeah a kitten that smokes 10 packs a day." ~ Karen - Will and Grace

"What have you been doing with your life? ~ Debbie's Dad
...Professional Killer ~ Martin
Good for you it's a growth industry." ~ Debbie's Dad ~ Gross Pointe Blank

"It's as cold as my love for you." ~ Principle Skinner's Mom, The Simpsons

"Your lucky scrunchie...
It' helped me pass spanish...
You passed spanish because you have Professor Montoya a lap dance...
Ah...Luckily" ~ Legally Blonde

"Is somone having a case of the Mondays?" ~ Office Space

"Tyler you are by far the most interesting single serving friend I've made." - Fight Club

"That date with Sarah is definitely off." ~ Mission Impossible

"Come on Mommy let's go get something for dinner...I'm thirsty." ~ Another Thin Man

"We are such geeks." ~ Antitrust

"I'm off like a dirty shirt" ~ Duckie, Pretty In Pink

"Our love is like the wind...I can't see it but I can feel it." ~ A Walk To Remember

"This isn't a democracy its a cheerocracy. You are being a Cheertator Torrence and a pain in my a$$."~ Bring It On

"Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam?" ~ Office Space

"Look at me Harry." ~ Chili Palmer, Get Shorty

"Do you have her phone number stored in your memory? ~ Gail Weathers
"hmmm...." ~ Dewey (thinking)
"Phone Memory!" ~ Gail Weathers - Scream 3

"This is LA shouldn't we be learning to speak Mexican?"
"Um, that would be Spanish genius!" ~ The Craft

Updated: March 13, 2013
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