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"The message of Jesus was love of neighbor, acceptance of all, and radical hospitality to those who are oppressed and marginalized." ~ Rev. Dr. Angela Yarber

"From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot in front of the other. But when books are opened you discover you have wings." ~ Helen Hayes

"...in ten years I will get to tell my children that that gas station is where my grade school used to be and that Walmart used to be my high school." ~ T.B.

"Scientists are also stumped as to why the Kardashians are still on TV!" ~ Respose to a scientific article about Whale Fossils

"I knew it was going to be a rough day today when Logan's response to me waking him up were 'I am still tired so lets not do this today'." ~ 7 year old about going to school

"The whole world had changed. Only the fairy tales remained the same." ~ Number The Stars

"Understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to become comic stories the next." ~ Nora Ephron

"You see that...the sun did that to me!"
~ Little girl talking about her sun burn

“The 5-foot tall one was $300, marked down to $100.  That’s like, $200 worth of chicken for free.” ~ The Bloggess

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
~ Judy Garland

“Sometimes you have to choose the least worst alternative.”
~ John Gordon

"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Money doesn't grow on trees...it grows on speculative oil contracts." Jason J

"so I’m a little rusty on the premise of Passover, but I’m pretty sure Moses led my enslaved ancestors out of Egypt and through the desert for 40 years with only unleavened bread for sustenance so eons later I eventually could piss off my mother by drinking a stomach-souring vanilla-vodka martini with a yellow peep floating in it on the day Jesus Christ was resurrected. With lesbians." ~ Alone...with Cats.

"Nine years ago she had walked past a line of them, all wearing the same faces they were wearing now, As if righteousness were nothing but a halloween mask" ~ Second Glance, Jodi Picoult

"Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat; the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"High school is life's way of giving you a record low to judge the rest of your lifeby."
~ The Bloggess, Advice column

"Partying like it's midlifecrisis hour in crazy town." ~ I obsess

"I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems." ~ Elton John

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity." ~ Joseph Addison

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." ~ Mark Twain

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts." ~ Charles Dickens

"Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time." ~ Betty Smith, A Tree Grows In Brooklyn

"It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it." ~ Albert Einstein

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all." ~ Oscar Wilde

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up." ~ Author Unknown

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." ~ James Baldwin

"The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

"A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed." ~ Henrik Ibsen

"In three words I can sum up what I’ve learned about life: It goes on." ~ Robert Frost

"Five servings of fruits and vegetables a day can add 14 years to your life. That's one more reason I eat mostly cheeseburgers." ~ Guy from Internet

"Depressed and slinking though they were, eyes of fire were not wanting among them;" ~ Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

"Olympics -- A lifetime of training for just ten seconds." ~ Jesse Owens, 1936 Olympics

"I could kill myself waiting to talk to a person" ~ Me
"I'll Connect you." ~ The Automated Voice

"If I'm not back in 10 minutes...just wait longer." ~ Scooter

But if you want to quit facebook (And hopefully the internet...) please do and rid us of your stupidity! ~ Quote From Article about Facebook where everyone thought the article was Facebook

"I think my snowblower has more hours this winter than my lawnmower all last summer!!!!!" ~ A guy from Philly talking about record snow falls for Philadelphia

"It all begs the question: if quants are unquestionably some of the smartest folks around, why don't they do a better job calculating risk?" ~ Article on Banking

"A Government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have." ~ Gerald Ford, 1974

"The people’s government, made for the people, made by the people, and answerable to the people." ~ Daniel Webster

"Did you ever notice that there are no cats in the Bible. I think Jesus was allergic." ~ Chick from Internet

"I would watch the video, but moving pictures are the creation of the devil. I thought you knew that." ~ Guy from Internet

"Anna filed for Sal’s disqualification of service. However, the jury commissioner was unmoved and denied the request." ~ Artical, Sal the Cat called for Jury Duty in Mass.

"I have jury duty on January 25th. I'm sending my pug." ~ Comment, ~ Artical, Sal the Cat called for Jury Duty in Mass.

"The vice president's meeting with the chairman of the Recovery Act Transparency and Accountability Board is closed, meaning non-transparent." ~ Joe Biden's meeting on Transparency in government.

"But, it was a stressful week at the office and a nice, high body count really takes the edge off that, so, I was willing to take the risk." ~ Guy from Internet talking about going to see a movie

"God didn't create the fillibuster. It's part of the Senate Rules." ~ Barney Frank

"Did you ever look in a picture and see a stranger in the back? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you..." ~ The Internet

"Every time my math teacher speaks, A little part of my soul dies in agony." ~ The Internet

"Cheese is like my everything." ~ Food Network Challenge

"Martha thinks Catholics shouldn't work in the ER? Funny I think Martha shouldn't work in the US Senate." ~ Reaction to a statement made by Martha Coakly, Senate candidate from Mass.

"It's not the Kennedys' seat, it's not the Democrats' seat, it's the people's seat," ~ Scott Brown, Running for Senate Seat in Mass.

"No other car puts its hand down your trousers and rummages around so well." ~ London Times story on a a car

"Why in the world are paying for these people's food and water? My job doesn't feed me."

"In the interest of simplicity, both of my children are grounded until they die." ~ A Friend

"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we about living." ~ General Omar N. Bradley

"Now suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself. " ~ Mark Twain

"As a nation we began by declaring all men are equal. We now practically read it all men are created equal except Negroes. It will read that all men are created equal except Negroes, foreigners and Catholics. When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of knowing liberty. To Russia for instance, where despotism can be taken pure without the base alloy of hypocrisy." ~ Abraham Lincoln

"The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much." ~ William Hazlitt

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." ~ Oscar Wilde

"When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"You can have power over people as long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power."
~ Solzhenitsyn

"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. The bamboozle has captured us. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back." ~ Carl Sagan

"I've had a little problem with maturity." ~
Leonard, Age 76 while waiting in line for an iPhone

"A great tragedy should be born silently." ~ Greta Garbo

"What happened to me? The eighties happened. The nineties happened. Death and sickness and getting fat and going bald happened. I traded lots of dreams for a bigger paycheck, and I never even realized I was doing it." ~ Tuesdays with Morrie

"I very soon saw that the Constitutionalists would overthrow the Constitution by rashly using that power which was entrusted to their moderation - The spirit of the Constitution required prudence, and the Actors substituted temper and party in the room of it and thereby subjected the legislation of every year to the caprice of an election."
Thomas Paine, A Letter to Benjamin Rush

"That the moral duty of man consists in imitating the moral goodness and beneficence of God manifested in the creation towards all his creatures. That seeing, as we daily do, the goodness of God to all men, it is an example calling upon all men to practice the same towards each other; and consequently that every thing of persecution and revenge between man and man, and every thing of cruelty to animals, is a violation of moral duty." ~ Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

"No more tears now; I will think about revenge." ~ Mary, Queen of Scots

"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." ~ Albert Einstein

"The problem with the president's, with the Republicans' economy is that it's good for their base - 20 percent of the public - but it's not so good for 80 percent of the public." ~ Howard Dean

"Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." ~ Hermann Goering

"If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion." ~ George Bernard Shaw

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true." ~ Dorothy Parker

"A friend is a second self." ~ Aristotle

"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." ~ Sir Winston Churchill

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." ~ Charles Dickens

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." ~ George Carlin

"Red meat is NOT bad for you. Blue-Green meat, now that's bad for you!" ~ Tommy Smothers

``You've been with Terrell for five months. What have you done for him other than getting him
kicked off the team at this point?''~
Reporter talking to Terrell Owens' Agent
"Next question." ~ Drew Rosenhaus

"Don't get stuck on stupid Reporters. We're moving forward." ~ General Honore, During a briefing for Hurricane Rita.

"I'm an honest person even though I'm out here breaking the law." ~ COPS

"Government isn't the solution to our problems. Government is the problem" ~ President Reagan

"...On Thursday, July 20, one week after he left the hospital, that Antoine announced to his friends his plan become stupid." ~ Martin Page, How I Became Stupid

"I love money"~ Andre Lamar Henderson, suspected bank robber's response to why he robbed the bank

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you." ~ Katherine Hepburn

"Are you a transient?
No Sir, I'm an American!" ~ COPS - Officer asks suspect if he lives in the area

"God is subtle, but he is not malicious " ~ Albert Einstein

"Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees."~ General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson's dying words

"I have not failed. I've found 10,000 ways it doesn't work." ~ Thomas Edison

"It's not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years." ~ Abraham Lincoln

"If Government is the answer it must have been a really stupid question." ~ Anonymous

"The threat comes because, in another part of the globe, there is shadow and darkness where not all the world is free, where many millions suffer under brutal dictatorships, where a third of our planet lives in a poverty beyond anything even the poorest in our societies can imagine and where a fanatical strain of religious extremism has arisen that is a mutation of the true and peaceful faith of Islam." ~ Tony Blair, Priminister of Great Britain

"America is a nation full of good fortune, with so much to be grateful for. But we are not spared from suffering. In every generation, the world has produced enemies of human freedom. They have attacked America, because we are freedom's home and defender. And the commitment of our fathers is now the calling of our time." ~ George W. Bush, U.S. President

"Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events."
Sir Winston Churchill

"What is worse, to destroy a man who seeks the truth or destroy the truth so no man can seek it?"~ X-Files

"When I had a good day...I had a good day." ~ Cathy Moriarity

"My last thoughts will be...Duty, Honor, Country. I bed you farwell." ~ Douglas McArthur

"Compassion is the soul of the world." ~ Unknown

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." ~ Albert Einstein

"Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong." ~ John Diefenbaker

"Let's Roll." ~ Todd Morgan Beamer, died 9/11/01

"I took you for better or for worse but not for lunch." ~ Mrs. Craig on the occasion of her husband's retirement

"Retribution often means that we eventually do to ourselves what we have done unto others." ~ Eric Hoffer

"To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage." ~ Confucius

"For were the impulses of conscience clear, uniform, and irresistibly obeyed, man would need no other lawgiver" ~ Thomas Paine - Common Sense

"We have a saying in the movement that we don't trust anybody over 30."
Jack Weinberg

"If Mary leaves takes a train at five in Atlanta and John takes a train at 6 in New York how long will it take John to realize that he's wearing the ugliest tie on earth?" ~ Carson Kressly

"Ah, but man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?" ~ Robert Browning

"In the events that have challenged us, we have also seen the character that will deliver us." ~ President George W. Bush

"It's a recession when the man down the block is unemployed; it's a depression when you are unemployed." ~ Isabelle O'Donnell

"Her gift is all grown about with weeds and bound with briars. It had no chance of showing itself for the fine distinguished gift it was." ~ Virgina Woolf - A Room of One's Own

"Bad officals are elected by good citizens who do not vote." ~ George Jean Nathan

"If Con is the opposite of Pro then Congress must be the opposite of progress"

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~ Albert Einstein

"Is Money an object?" ~ S.V.S.

"Do you know what I'm saying?" ~ S.V.S.

"My hand delights to trace unusual things, And deviates from the known and common way, Nor will in fading silks compose, faintly the inimitable rose." ~ Virginia Woolf - A Room of One's Own

"The happy Union of these States is a wonder; their Constitution a miracle; their example the hope of Liberty throughout the world." ~ James Madison

"On the Plains of Hesitation bleached the bones of countless millions who, at the Dawn of Victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died! ~ George W. Cecil

"Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred." ~ Job 6:24

"It is a condition which confronts us - not a theory." ~ Grover Cleveland

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." ~ Mrs. Patrick Campbell

"Men must be governed by God or they will be ruled by tyrants." ~ William Penn

"And often times excusing of a fault, doth make the fault the worse by the excuse."
William Shakespeare

"All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening." ~ Alexander Woollcott

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." ~ Oscar Wilde

"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." ~ Robert Frost

"A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment." ~ Willis Player

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." ~ JFK's inaugural address

"Grief, tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance and love have no end." ~ President George W. Bush ~ September 14, 2001

"Can anyone tell me what Christmas is all about!?!" ~ Charlie Brown
"Sure I can Charlie Brown." ~ Linus Van Pelt

"God is bigger than the boogieman" ~ Pudge

"They that can give up essential Liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserves neither Liberty nor safety." ~ Ben Franklin

"I believe that in this generation those with the courage to enter the moral conflict will find themselves with companions in every corner of the world." ~ Robert F. Kennedy

"Those words, "temperate and moderate", are words either of political cowardice, or of cunning, or seduction. - A thing, moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper, is always a virtue; but moderation in principle, is a species of vice." ~ Thomas Paine

"No man who is not willing to bear arms and to fight for his rights can give a good reason why he should be entitled to the privilege of living in a free community." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

"Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure." ~ Karl Menninger

"The important thing is not to stop questioning." ~ Albert Einstein

"Liberty means responsiblility. That is why most men dread it." ~ George Bernard Shaw

"Man has to initiate it, to sustain it and to bear responsibility for its results. He has to discover how to tell what is true or false and how to correct his own errors." ~ Ayn Rand

"I am not the member of any organized party - I am a Democrat." ~ Will Rogers

"Americans never quit." ~ General Douglas MacArthur

"He has been called a mediocre man; but this is unwarranted flattery. He was a politician of monumental littleness."~ Theodore Roosevelt

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." ~ General George S. Patton

I offer you this... every village needs an idiot, and some villages are comprised of nothing but. ~ A Girl From Austin Texas

"One of the greatest wisdoms is seeing people as they are and not as we want them to be."

"Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in thee; Let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies thriumph over me." ~ Psalm 25: 1-2

"There is a Destiny that makes us brothers. None goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives of others, comes back into our own." ~ The Guiding Light - The original opening of the daytime Soap Opera

"We go up the ladder, we go down the ladder but the most important thing is we go together." ~ Shawn Ferris

"Children are becoming an endangered species, energy has reached crisis proportions, marriages are on the decline, and the only ones having any fun anymore are the research rats." ~ Erma Bombeck

"He had a great talent for being friendly. But he didn't see his close friends often."
Andy Rooney describing his friend Charles Kurult

"Show me a hero and I'll show you a tragedy." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all." ~ Unknown

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." ~ Albert Einstein

"Had Tolstoy lived at the Priory in seclusion with a married lady "cut off from what is called the world," however edifying the moral lesson, he could scarcely, I thought, have written War and Peace."
~ Virginia Woolf ~ A Room of One's Own

"Who would want to turn 100?" ~ Phyllis Diller
"Anyone who's 99." ~ Bob Hope

"Lisa if I had know you were going to die I would have hung out with you more." ~ Claire, Six Feet Under

"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." ~Oscar Wilde

Updated: March 6, 2012
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